This is me many years ago as I was beginning my journey into adulthood. I'm a freshman in college here, on my own for the first time. I'm uncertain about many things but there are a couple of things that I am certain of including (1) the older women in my life don't understand what it means to be a modern woman, their ways are quaint but limited, and (2) I can be and will be the ultimate modern woman; I can "bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you're a man". Yes, I was convinced that I could be the epitome of the Enjoli woman that was paraded before me in my formative years. I just knew that I could have it all, do it all and be it all and find happiness, joy, purpose, and contentment in doing so.
I gave it all a good try, I really did. I have degrees and have had professional jobs. I have a husband, four children, and a home in a desirable neighborhood. I have experienced joy and satisfaction related to each of these; however, while pursuing them all simultaneously I struggled with contentment. I just couldn't figure out how to do them all to my satisfaction. I always felt like I was sacrificing one thing for the other: a type of 'robbing Peter to pay Paul' but typically with time and energy rather than money.
Not long after my fourth child was born I made the choice to focus on my roles as wife, mother and homemaker with singularity. This required me to challenge what I believed about being an adult, a woman; it challenged my identity and values. I was questioning whether I could have it all, do it all and be it all. It was the beginning of editing and curating my life.
During the course of the journey, I have learned that life involves a series of trade-offs. A particular dollar or minute or ounce of energy can only be utilized on a single thing. Therefore, choices have to be made. Even when not making mindful choices I am still making choices. When I work diligently to make choices that align with my values and goals my contentment has increased exponentially.
"You have to have a 100% belief in your core reason for being. This gives you vision, clarity, and informs decisions"