If where you are right now isn’t ideal for you, don’t sweat it. This is exactly where you need to be because every move you make and everything that follows does not have to be labeled as “right” or “wrong.” It just is.
Whatever you’re feeling may suck and all but something is happening. You are getting closer to your redemption. As cliché as it sounds, you don’t have to know why or what might be. Those things will come in time.
So, feel what you need to feel. Experience what you need to experience. Be present in the moment. Do not underestimate the process. Trust it.
P.S. I know it’s easier said than done, but just like building muscle strength at the gym, it’s a practice and consistency is key.